To live is to suffer?
Why are many people suffering? Every person has inner personality parts that serve survival and protection. They are protecting us from overwhelming feelings. They arise automatically and usually unnoticed in overwhelming, traumatic situations.
However, these parts often carry negative beliefs, like, “You have to be perfect!” or “You can’t do it!” So they hinder your feelings, liveliness, presence, and love. Not being aware of this hinders the path from suffering to a Self-determined life.
Suffering is wishing things were other than they are– Buddha.
What is the reason for suffering?
Suffering is not inevitable in life. Many endure it somehow, even though they suffer the most.
There is suffering everywhere in the world. The people who live in war and also the children who are dying of hunger; even in more affluent countries, many people are suffering. It is not always visible.
How come people in the poorest countries in the world under the most inhumane conditions are happy, and we are unhappy living in luxury?
Some People constantly suffer when they are well or sick, when they are lonely or with their loved ones, when they are rich or poor, and even when they are well or unwell. Watch
By definition, suffering is experiencing pain or hardship, a condition only people in war or poverty experience. But this assumption is wrong because some experience it in everyday situations.
The suffering sounds like: “I am not good enough. Nobody will take me seriously,” and is nothing more than a thought in your mind or an emotion within you. It is what determines the nature of your experience in that moment.
I want to be a force for real good. In other words. I know that there are bad forces, forces that bring suffering to others and misery to the world, but I want to be the opposite force. I want to be the force which is truly for good. John Coltrane
What is the cause?
Unfortunately, it is a conditioning instilled through our upbringing and society. But what is even more unfortunate is that the cause of your suffering is yourself.
You are not in the world to suffer but to be happy. When you suffer, it is only because this feeling has a message for you. It tells you that something in your life is out of harmony and calls you to change something.
Suffering is not inevitable. You can stop suffering. Humans are capable of suffering just about anything, and if you’re not aware, you will suffer all your life.
It is your mind.
When you allow your mind to give meaning to your experiences, you can cause yourself suffering. But you can overcome suffering by allowing your mind to resolve this meaning. You are not defenseless against it. You can control it. If you can create suffering, you can also develop a sense of freedom. You can create another scenario in your head and change your perception.
You can shape your life and master to live blissfully, and then you have succeeded and are no longer a slave to your thoughts.
Daily suffering is not part of human nature, no matter what people think. When you overcome it, joy appears.
We often hear that life is suffering. It is a quote from Buddha, but the translation of the Pali-word Dukkha does not have the same meaning as our word suffering. In Buddhism, suffering (dukkha) also describes dissatisfaction and unpleasant experiences. It is due to desire and aversion caused by greed, hatred, and madness. Suffering is caused by people themselves because they want to hold on to temporary things in an ever-changing world.
Buddha also said, “All conditioned things are impermanent—when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering.” and “Everything that happens to us is the result of what we ourselves have thought, said, or done. We alone are responsible for our lives.”
When we hear slogans like “life is suffering,” consciously or unconsciously, they slip into our subconscious mind. And when difficulties arise, we let ourselves suffer, and we think it is normal because others also talk about suffering. Following the crowd is always safe and comfortable. But is this living?
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. Thich Nhat Hanh
A Symbol of suffering
In my life, there have been a lot of ups and downs, but it never came to my mind to suffer. All challenging situations and circumstances were for me to find solutions, grow stronger, and make life better.
The word suffering reminds me of a man hanging on a cross, Jesus, which is the symbol of suffering for many, the Church, and an experience I had when I was a teen. After my confirmation, I had to go to class, and the minister suddenly changed the symbol into another one. For me, Jesus was a Rebel, or as my friend Ryan wrote, a Disruptor to free humanity.
Now, the minister said that after our death, we come to the paradise door, and in front of it, Jesus now stands there, and his eyes spray fire, and a sword is coming out of his mouth. I asked if this was a parable, but he insisted it is real and true.
It was the last time I went to the classes. I told my mother, and she agreed.
Watch > Is History Real?
It is fear that rules the world, not money.
But fear is for people who have lost faith.
“Feed your faith, and your fears will starve to death,” said Max Lucado.
“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.” – Japanese Proverb.
We are not here to hang around, suffer, and blame others or circumstances for it, but to learn to overcome it and live a self-determined life. We need to be able to teach our kids how to avoid it and be aware of the conditioning.
The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering. Ben Okri.
Many people do not understand that they are responsible for their lives and, therefore, also their suffering. They make themselves victims and think it is fate.
The victim role makes them forget the responsibility for life and the effort necessary to change.
Learn to accept
If you forget your responsibility for your life and consciously suffer, the deeper cause is fear. You’re afraid of change and can’t let go. You don’t want to accept what you can’t change.
Unfortunately, some things we cannot change. Learn to accept these things.
External circumstances are not responsible; your thoughts and attitudes make you suffer. Accepting the role of victim and suffering because anything else would mean effort is not the meaning of life. Instead, you can look for the cause, feel into it, and resolve the suffering. The decision is yours.
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”- Thich Nhat Hanh
Let it go
If you are unhappy and suffering, then it is time for change. Fear often prevents us from changing.
You may not see a path, don’t know where to go, or doubt your strength. Redirect your thinking and imagine how you can improve your situation. Imagine how you will feel in a new situation.
Remember things you mastered that made you feel good afterward and gave you self-confidence. If you do your best, everything will come to you when the time is right. Listen to your heart and go where it takes you.
Meditation and mindfulness will help.
Buddha’s saying makes dealing with suffering and pain our responsibility. Through him, we also know that mindfulness is the key to acceptance and can help us. There may be even physical pain, but no emotional stress, no drama. Studies show that mindfulness exercises and meditation can significantly relieve suffering. It changes the state of mind. We can deal better with the situation and return to life.
Do you have experience with suffering?
Or are you like me and look in difficult situations for solutions and try to do your best and be resilient?
Even if your fears might be telling you otherwise, NOW is actually the perfect time to focus on creating your dream life.
That’s why I wanted to invite you to join my friend and master teacher, Mary Morrissey, for her life-changing virtual event that’s happening soon: DreamBuilder LIVE Virtual! << Click here to grab your ticket for 60% off the normal price today!